Topic: Amused to Death

[Cosmic King]

I heard of such criminal,falling,he has been using my names and aliases to get popularity,alas,he is just part of an underworld of pretenders called the UY mafia,here are some of its most prominent members  >



FAKE PROPAGANDA,GENOCIDE,CROSSING THE STREET WHILE THE LIGHT IS GREEN TO CARS,CRIMES AGAINST ALL GOD-CREATED CREATURES,ETC. (dont get me started)

THE UY MAFIA:

SAMUEL STARSKY

Photo taken during one trial at 2006

Aliases:The Caetano Village Boss,Senpai-kun,The Star that has Fallen,etc
Place of Birth:Somewhere at the Blitz Empire
Height:Unknown
Weight:Unknown
Date of Birth:November 3rd 1984
Eyes:From brown to red
Hair:Dark but turns into golden when fully powered
Sex:Yeah,thanks...oops,Male
Race:Unknown
Occupation:Mafia Boss and Ninja
Scars:Has 3 eyes (one is hidden in the forehead) and some japanese tattos on left arm

CAUTION:

The Caetano Village Boss is sought as he is connected ny elaborating fake wanted posters or altering them (ex. his former-partner jesus isnt 5'7,that man is 6'0 and isnt white)as well as the completely genocide of the Dinosaurs and Dodo Birds,financing animal torture videos to be broadcasted in public TV,stealing all the gold in all Monaco and making ugly faces to a dog in Oaklahoma

CONSIDERED ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AS HE IS A NINJA

OUJIN KROPTONOVIK

Aliases:The Prodigal Prince,Krop,Mr. K,etc.
Place of Birth:The Empire of Tecas,Europe
Height and Weight:Unknown
Date of Birth:October 14th 1989
Eyes:They glow
Hair:Right now he has been watched sporting Blue and Red hair respectively
Sex:Male
Race:Tecasian
Occupation:Runaway Heir
Scars:Only in his heart as he lost a love

CAUTION:

Kroptonovik isnt really a criminal,he is just a wanted prince as he escaped his wedding with the heir of the asian country of Kurama.His other crime wascrossing the street while the light is green for the cars and also financing the UY mafia activities

EMANUEL STORM

Photo taken during his escape from prison in early 2007

Alias:The Silva Spanker,Sandman,Storm Ass-asin
Height and Weight:Unknown
Place of Birth:Portugal
Date of Birth:April 5th 1983
Eyes:He is known by using lense eyes,normally grey
Hair:He constantly dyes his hair
Sex:Male
Race:Portuguese naturalized in England
Occupation:Former Schoolteacher
Scars:Countless stitches on his body,including face and arms

CAUTION:

The Ass-asin is wanted for multiple spanks delivered to many girls to the point they cant sit down without a pillow under her butts,illegal marketing of sadomasochist material,teaming up with The Kunoichi of Spanks in the Spanknowitz Massacre in 2005pretending to be high authority officers so he could spank the Queen of England and others,finally opening a school for future ass-asins worldwide

CONSIDERED ARMED WITH ANY SPANKING OBJECT AND DANGEROUS FOR THE GIRLS

CRACKER GRAHAM

Aliases:The Forgotten One,General Graham,Yami Tenshi,Guardian Angel,Monsieur Death
Height and Weight:Unknown
Place of Birth:Canada
Date of Birth:September 17th 1988
Eyes:Dark red
Hair:Dark Blonde (probably Brown,there are few photos of him)
Sex:Male
Race:Canadian
Occupation:Former Green Beret of the Army
Scars:Tatto of a Dark Angel on his back

CAUTION:

This man is wanted for multiple gang wars against a well known burger restaurant,terror at TV stations,starting guerrillas in south america,establishing a guerrilla training facility on Toronto in case of a Nuclear War as well as been a paid assasin for the UY mafia.His modus operandi consists on sending 1 of 3 cards to his victims (Skuld if the victim is younger,Belldandy if it is a middle age person and Urd if it is an old person)

CONSIDERED ARMED AND DANGEROUS

THE REWARD FOR EACH OF THESE MEMBERS IS $1,000,000

Offtopic: Ok,my friends,this was a funny experience,have a nice day 

[DarkDevil]

Ok... Where's the phone number?

[cata]

Lol.

[Cosmic King]

Ahh,i knew i was forgeting some of the most dreadful members of the UY mafia,here we go



OTHER UY MAFIA MEMBERS:

DAMIAN FRANCISCO CORAZON DEL DIABLO * (Devil's Heart)

Photo of his cat killing a police dog

Aliases:The Devil Darkness,Servant of the Goddess,Pussycat,Cat-astrophe,Darkdemon
Height and Weight:Variable
Place of Birth:Unknown,supposedly Hell
Date of Birth:(Supposedly) Before the Big Bang (probable date) April 24th 1989
Eyes:Red?
Hair:Orange
Sex:Male
Race:Unknown
Occupation:Unknown
Scars:Injuries from the Cat carrier,besides having a tattoo of all his victims and his goddess

CAUTION:

Corazon del Diablo or Dark Demon is a master assasin that prefers to kill his male victims with a drill device known as the Cat Carrier as well as using other sharp weapons,he writes INDEED on the inert bodies of his victims,with women he prefers to use poison and less painful attacks.He is known for been a master hacker and training cats 2 be killers at his service as he has the mission of summon his goddess thru blood feasts.

DANGEROUS AND ARMED ONLY WHEN PISSED OFF


KAEDE

Alias:The Kunoichi of Spanks,The Last thing your butt will fell,Butt-erfly
Height and Weight:Unknown
Place of Birth:Chihuahua,Mexico
Date of Birth:December 16th 1989
Eyes:As Emanuel Storm,she prefers to use lenses to hide her eyes
Hair:Dark Brown
Sex:Female
Race:Hispanic
Occupation:Ninja
Scars:Marks of self-inflicted spanks and a tatto saying "Spank you very much" on arms

CAUTION:

Kaede is known as the crime partner of E. Storm so her modus operandi consists to spank only male till they cannot sit properly as well as teaching ass-asing teachniques,
alonge her victims are George Bush (father and son),Michael Jackson,Pope Benedict 16th,Osama Bin Laden,Many FBI officers,etc.She has been known as part of the Universal War 1 where she confirmed her supernatural skills and the Spanknowitz Massacre in 2005

DANGEROUS AND ARMED WITH SPANKING KATANAS

CATALINA RAMADA

File photo of her strangling an enemy 1 year ago

Alias:Cata the Valkirie,Ms. Smackdown,Captain Catalina,etc.
Height and Weight:Unknown
Place of Birth:Portugal
Date of Birth:Unknown date of 1991
Eyes:Her eyeglasses make it hard to say
Hair:Black or Dark Brown
Sex:Female
Race:Poruguese
Occupation:Valkyrie
Scars:Small scar on her right cheek after escaping prison

CAUTION

Catalina is wanted for organizing a muderers society that has been connected with the following events:

- Death of John Lennon
- Cher winning an Oscar prize
- Cold War
- France winning World Cup 1998

As well as been a self-proclaimed revolutionary with his Valkyrie Force and Pirates that attack most boats and airplanes in the Atlantic.

DANGEROUS AND HEAVILY ARMED

ALUMXANDER YELLOWSKI

Actual photo of him taken by a witness

Alias:Mr. Take-chances,Alumxander the Great (yeah right),Bat Boy?,Cheater Royale
Height and Weight:Unknown
Place and Date of Birth:Unknown
Eyes:Blueish red (according to witness)
Hair:Used to have red hair but now he is bald
Sex:Male
Race:Unknown
Occupation:Con Man and Weirdo
Scars:None whatsoever,but sports elfin ears and fangs

CAUTION

This dude has been known as the most big cheater on earth as he has tricked in all of Las Vegas casinos with phony acts,he has escaped from at least 23 weddings,taken a Wal Mart as hostage,making ugly faces to kids on the streets and never sayin "hi" when people greet him as well as been an exhibitionist in public places (ya know what we mean)

NOT SO DANGEROUS BUT KEEP AN EYE ON HIM

THE REWARD FOR EACH OF THESE MEMBERS IS $1,000,000

Offtopic:  more wanted posters coming soon...

[cata]

Off topic: And you had to put that photo! Lol.

On topic: I never heard of a valkyrian or whatever...  :&

[Cosmic King]

Well,you can blame the US justice system for that,all of us are wanted people  >

What matters is that you have a laugh 

[Kunoichi Kaede]

Funny stuff,i loved it but you forgot to add more of my male victims  :9

Spank you very much,cant wait to see the other wanted posts

[cata]

Indeed. Actually it isn't only US cops that are after me... :&  >

[Cosmic King]

Aye,cata,you are a worldwide celebrity 

[cata]

Indeed... But a celebrity of crime. wahahahahaha MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (evil laugh)

[Cosmic King]

Time to continue the other members of the UY mafia



SIR PERCIVAL "SHUTARO" ESSEX

Alias:Shu-chan,Mendo-san,The Lady Killer,Gentleman of Crime
Height and Weight:Unknown
Place of Birth:London,England but raised in Japan
Date of Birth:Unknown
Eyes:Blue
Hair:Brunette
Sex:Male
Occupation:Bon Vivant
Scars:None

CAUTION

This old chap is wanted as he is a master swordsman and sniper,guilty of several murders,he is also known by seducing many rich women around the globe so he could steal all her jewels as well as their hearts.He has a lot of crime societies in England

DANGEROUS AND ARMED

PAULO LIGHTBRINGER

Alias:Jataru,Wizard of Wonders,Vishanti,The Blonde Ghost
Heght and Weight:Unknown
Place of Birth:Kingdom of Light?
Date of Birth:1989?
Eyes:Blueish green
Hair:Golden Blonde
Sex:Male
Occupation:Mafia Boss
Race:Unknown

CAUTION

This man is wanted as he is the head of a narcotics in all Europe and North America known as Wizard,he is also the boss of many guerrilla squads that work alongside Cracker Graham group prepared for a nuclear war."Jataru" has many illegal busineses such as gambling,liquor and white slavery

HEAVILY DANGEROUS AND ARMED

JANUS MAXIMUS

Alias:Jimmy,Dr. Maximum,The Freak Maker,Janus the Creator
Height and Weight:Unknown
Place of Birth:Mexico then emigrated to USA
Date of Birth:June 12th 1990
Eyes:Uses sunglasses so it is hard 2 say if it is blonde yellow
Hair:Grey strokes in Brown hair and he has his hair as Goku in his Super Saiyan style
Sex:Male
Occupation:Mad Scientist
Race:Mexican-American
Scars:An X mark on his forehead

CAUTION

Although he isnt a criminal,Janus Maximus is guilty of this:

-Transplanting a donkey's brain in Clint Eastwood
-Destroying australia with a nuclear satellite
-Kidnapping all Miss Universe winners since 1993 till 2004 to make them all resemble her favorite character,Lum Invader
-Kidnapping the sun
-Creating an unhloy race of beings half horse,hallf chicken
-Ilegally getting a gigantic network of internet without paying
-Never saving the Princess on Super Mario Bros. 1
-Creating an army of Dragon Ball Z warriors in reality
-Writing "JANUS RULES" in the Chinese Great Wall 95 times
-Altering Mt. Rushmore faces so they now resemble the rock group KISS
-Etc.

PROBABLY THE MOST DANGEROUS OF ALL

THE FIRST TWO CAPTURE HAVE A $900,000 REWARD

JANUS CAPTURE HAS A REWARD OF $2,000,000

CALL THIS NUMBER IF YOU HAVE INFO : 544-9786-213

Offtopic: What a crazy day,Justice better be served

[FallinG_StaR]

LoL... Damn I wasn't suposed to be in the 10 Most wanted list... (well the 12 most wanted)  }:|

Shouldn't have messed with Cosmic... LoL

Good work btw...

[Cosmic King]

At least you have of the most prominet titles in the Top 12 UY mafia,falling-senpai,i am the one who must give ya credit as ya inspired me to write all of that  :D)  })

[FallinG_StaR]

Well... I must say that when a american/mexican/arab/isrealy/chinese/japanese/etc... arrives at my Hotel the 1st thing I do is go to FBI most wanted... LoL

[Cosmic King]

Good Luck on it,falling star LoL